My Father Tells Me (Birthday Post).

I hear stories.

They tell me that it was all about me.
They tell me my brother and sister stayed at a friend's down the street.
They tell me that my mother was at the hospital, they tell me they were waiting.
They tell me they remember. 20 years ago.

I don't remember. But they tell me, and that's good enough.

My Father remembers that day.
"Today is the day."
My Father tells me how the angels celebrated.
My Father tells me of the love in his heart.
My Father tells me how he looked down and said that it was very good.
My Father tells me that it was the beginning of a new life.

My Father tells me about the day I was born. I can't help but smile.

Sadly I don't remember. But who does?

I remember. 6 years ago.
I remember hating myself.
I remember the sin in my heart, the direction I was going.
I remember my tired soul, my weary spirit.
I remember the frustration and the pain.
I remember letting go.
I remember...
The relief.

My Father remembers that day.
"Today is the day."
My Father tells me how the angels celebrated.
My Father tells me of the love in his heart.
My Father tells me how he looked down and said that it was very good.
My Father tells me that it was the beginning of a new life.

My Father tells me about the day I was born. I can't help but smile.

I remember.

At one time
we too were foolish,
  disobedient,
    deceived
      and enslaved
by all kinds of passions and pleasures.
We lived in malice and envy,
being hated
and hating one another.

But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared,

he saved us.

he saved us.

he saved us.

Not because of righteous things we had done,
but because of his mercy.

He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal
by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously
through Jesus Christ our Savior,
so that, having been justified by his grace,
                we might become heirs...

having the hope of eternal life...1

I remember... And I can't help but smile.
~Sam



1Titus 3:3-7

The Warm Shoulder.

So one of my favorite Christian albums to listen to is Music Inspired by the Story. The album consists of songs written from the perspective of Bible characters. Every song is good, especially the song written from Mary's perspective. She carried the savior of the Earth in her womb! That's a unique experience.

One of my personal favorites, though, is Job. Don't get me wrong: I've not always liked Job. In fact, I used to be confused as to why people said they loved the book of Job so much. My mother has told me she loves Job, and I've often heard it's a popular book. So it's obvious, people suffer and Job is about what it means to suffer.

When I was younger, though, I used to try to read Job, and I never really understood it. Isn't what these characters like Eliphaz and Zophar talking about right? And why is Job so whiny? So naturally as I started to acquaint myself more with the Word I read through Job carefully and studied it. It started to become clear to me why Job said what he did, and what these other characters really meant in their long dialogues. They were trying to reason his suffering. They tried to make it make sense. And Job wouldn't have it. The song version from the album I mentioned goes like this:

"If one more person takes my hand and tries to say they understand, and tells me there's some bigger plan that I'm not meant to see...
"If one more person dares suggest that I held something unconfessed, and tries to make the dots connect from righteousness to easy street..."

What do we say to people? "I understand what you're going through." "Don't worry, it'll get better." "This is part of God's plan." Or maybe, "Is everything all right? Have you talked to God recently?" "Maybe you should pray about it."

We try to minimize their pain, make it something superficial and unimportant. We give way to judgment, tell them to clean themselves up, when it's obvious they've already tried. I've said these things, consoled in this cold way. And maybe it even gets worse.

"Who else will see my suffering as one more opportunity to educate; to help me see all my flawed theology...
"If one more well-intentioned friend tries to tie up my loose ends, hoping to, with rug and broom, sweep awkward moments from the room..."

We take advantage of people. Our judgment goes one level deeper, telling them if they only believed this or that, they would feel better and have a better life. Or maybe we try to hastily fix up their life for them, as if we were meant to save them in the first place. But no. Suffering is not a disease. It's not a sickness that simply goes away. Rather, it's something that sticks with us, exposing itself when it wishes, pulling us to the dirt. Suffering is part of life.

"Well I can't forget that I have begged just like a madman for my chance to die, to never have to face the morning..."

Job was a wealthy man. He was happy and had a great family. One day it was all stripped from him, in a sudden twist of fate. And he moans on the side of the road, with diseases and a dead family.

"I won't deny that I've relied on some assumptions, that a man's honest life entitles him to something..."

So Job was broken and left alone, and his friends try to fix up his situation. And this is what I've come to love about Job. Nobody comes with a solution. No human says anything that could help Job, because really there's nothing that can be said to help him. His friends talk on and on, taking each approach, but never making any headway. There's only one "solution", and it comes in the chorus.

"...Who am I to make demands of the God of Abraham?
Who are You that You would choose to answer me with mercy new?
How many more will wander past and find me here among these ashes?
Will you hold me?
Will you stay so I can raise this broken praise to you?"

The truth is that Job's situation is unexplainable. Sure you could argue God used his pain to teach him a lesson. And yes, he did. But he didn't know that. His friends didn't know that. How often do we think that our suffering is a result of God's desire for us? It's not a natural thought.

Suffering, the evil of the world, isn't something that we can explain. The only thing we can do is love. Give him a listening ear. Offer her a shoulder to cry on. Give the poor man something to eat. Pray for the non-Christian on the spot. It doesn't matter whether they believe or not: they're human. They long to be loved. They want somebody that will walk through the storm with them.

On my worst days, all I want is somebody at my side to hear me and hold me. Of course I always have Jesus. But there's nothing like the image of God, next to you, acting as He would.

"You were the One who filled my cup, and You were the One who let it spill,
so blessed be your Holy name if You never fill it up again,
if this is where my story ends, just give me one more breath to say...
Hallelujah."

Deuteronomy 31:8

For more on suffering, in the context of sexual assault: http://shawnsmucker.com/2013/12/04/i-will-pray-for-him-too-though-i-do-not-know-how/

The Tragedy of Marriage.

So!

I've been reading this book lately called Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller, and it's absolutely blowing my mind. The thing is, the book is nothing abstract. Don is just telling us experiences that he had in his life and what he thinks of them. It's not deep, complex writing. It's simple, but so profound, honest, and real. And that honesty, that Christ-likeness I have seen so rarely in books.

If there's one thing this book has taught me, it's what love is. I haven't finished it yet, but I have been so profoundly impacted by how Don teaches us to love. One of his great insights is in grace. Don always has this sense of wanting to do the right thing, but he can't truly do that until he accepts God's love. He writes, "Rick says that I will love God because he first loved me. I will obey God because I love God. But if I cannot accept God's love, I cannot love Him in return, and I cannot obey him. Self-discipline will never make us feel righteous and clean; accepting God's love will." That's so relieving. Self-discipline isn't going to make us feel any better, but just by experiencing God's love we can obey, because we love Him.

Just today I read his section on romance. Don is honest about his selfishness and fear of intimacy, but still has some amazing insights to share about romance and marriage. One thing he talks about is the limits of love in marriage. Don's best friend Paul says about his wife, "… there is stuff I can't tell her, not because I don't want to, but because there aren't words. It's like we are separate people, and there is no getting inside each other to read each other's thoughts, each other's beings. Marriage is amazing because it is the closest two people can get, but they can't get all the way to that place of absolute knowing. There are places in our lives that only God can go." Marriage can't replace our relationship with God. Only He can be ultimate fulfillment.

Yet this confusion is why marriage is so incredibly beautiful. Paul talks more about his marriage to Don, about where he sees God in it. Paul tells Don that God shows his love for Paul through his wife Danielle, and because she loves him and teaches him that he is lovable, he can better interact with God. Paul says, "To be in relationship with God is to be loved purely and furiously. And a person who thinks himself unlovable cannot be in a relationship with God because he can't accept who God is; a Being that is love. We learn that we are lovable or unlovable from other people. That is why God tells us so many times to love each other."

That's so beautiful! By loving other people, I'm letting them know that they are lovable. Then they can more accept God's ferocious love for them. Even better, by passionately loving your spouse, you are the best human teacher they have of God's love. How important is that!

But we have a problem. A very, very bad problem. What if a husband and wife do not love each other? What if they have come to the place where they want to be divorced, where they do not offer unconditional love? The realest that you get with someone is in marriage. "And the scary thing about intimate relationships, is that if somebody gets to know us, the us that we usually hide, they might not love us; they might reject us." So when your spouse experiences all of this reality of who you are, and refuses to love you, how painful must that be? What kind of torment is it to think that the closer you get to someone, the less they love you? And what does that make you think about God? Am I… unlovable? Am I so useless?

No. No, no, no, no, no. This is a tragedy. This might be the biggest tragedy of modern day culture. Think about our conception of "love": a feeling, a novelty. Think about the 41% divorce rate. How many people have come so close to other people only to be thrown away? How many people think that they are unlovable and disgusting to God? That's not true! They are so loved.

And so I find this to be true: "To love another person is to see the face of God." In marriage, to experience deep intimacy is to experience the greatest imitation of the love of God.
But, in marriage, to deny a person the love that you have committed to give them is, from what I can see, to tell them God doesn't love them.

And that is so untrue.

"For I am convinced neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8:38-39)

…so what's the solution? Here's what Don writes from the perspective of the unloved:
"I want desperately for you to be my friend. But you are not my friend; you have slid up warmly to the man I wanted to be… Should I show you who I am, we may crumble. I am not scared of you, my love, I am scared of me….
I am quitting this thing, but not what you think. I am not going away.
I will give you this, my love, and I will not bargain or barter any longer. I will love you, as sure as He has loved me… I will love you like God, because of God, mighted by the power of God. I will stop expecting your love, demanding your love, trading for your love, gaming for your love. I will simply love.
God risked Himself on me. I will risk myself on you. And together, we will learn to love…"

(Picture from the Blue Like Jazz movie)

~Sam

Renewing your Mind.

So today is just like any other day in college. There are some days where I feel incredibly inspired by God, to do or experience great things. There are other days (more often than I'd like there to be), where I feel distant from God and unbelieving. I force myself to press into his presence, but sometimes I just can't feel anything. I know that God exists: I've heard, seen, touched and tasted his goodness. But I'm not feeling anything, and feel purposeless on the inside.

Why does that happen? That can be so frustrating as a child of God, sometimes. Imagine walking up to your Dad urgently, asking him to give you purpose and meaning. It's funny, because I just want it to happen! But when I see my Dad giving me meaning, it isn't instant. He's gets up, looks me in the eye and tells me something I've forgotten. Which means I've got to be listening.

But some days it's so hard to listen...

So I think he's finally gotten to me today by reminding me of his heart. The truth, which is the gospel. The gospel is the good news about Jesus, this guy who lived on earth 2000 years ago. How does that change my life? Oh my friend let me tell you.

Let me tell you the gospel of Jesus Christ. (It's a pretty big deal.)

So think about it: everybody seems to live their lives without much attention to God. In fact, there are some people who believe God exists, but he just remains in the background and doesn't really interact with us. But that's not true. There's something significant that seperates all of us from him, and that's the wrong, evil things that we've done, called sin. "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." Everyone is utterly incapable of comparing to God's amazingness, and we need his salvation.

Why? Why do I need God's salvation? Because this sin isn't just things we've done: it has a "reward." Sin leads us to death. By living in sin, we're disconnected from God, and instead become destined to die. "For the wages of sin is death." But God doesn't want you to die: he loves you and wants to live with you forever. "The gift that God gives is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord."

How does this gift work? Well God provides this through his son he sent to earth, Jesus. Jesus lived a perfect life, but that's not the reason he came to earth. Even though he was perfect, he was killed, nailed and hung on a cross for us because he loved us. By dying for us, he tok the death we deserved upon himself, so we no longer have to receive it anymore. "God demonstrates his own love for us in this - while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

Sounds great! But how do I recieve this salvation? It's simple: all you have to do is believe in him, because he's already finished the job. If we trust in God, then he accepts us into his family, to become a child of God and to recieve the Holy Spirit in our heart. "If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved."

And that's the beautiful thing: Jesus didn't stay dead! He's alive, raised from the dead, sitting on his throne and moving in our hearts through the Holy Spirit. We can live in relationship with God, offering ourselves to him and being gradually transformed by him. "Therefore I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God - this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind."


-

This is the meaning of life. So beautiful. But man, I wish I knew it all the time... I wish I woke up knowing this everyday. But I don't: I have to remind myself. And maybe this blog can be one way I do that.

So will you be seeing more posts soon? Maybe. But I'm not blogging for attention. All I want to do is write out my ideas presentably, so I can know them and return to them when I need them. As a wise man once said, "never doubt in the dark what you know to be true in the light." This is my reminder.

~Sam
(Quotes from Paul's letter to the Romans)

God-Time.

So it's about halfway through summer, and I figured now would be a good time for an update! I haven't written for a while, but I know that I'll have some things (possibly many things) to write about.

This is because of how the summer has been going. It's been really good! But. For some reason, instead of presenting one thing to me at a time, God has decided to just assault me with a lot of different lessons, none of them really wrapped up in a bow. I've been learning a lot about a lot of different things, including God as Holy Spirit, God as Father, my own identity, my own story and life and sins and struggles and salvation. Oh, and video games and math and music and yeah.

Pretty much everything! And I haven't come to an understanding of these things, or enough that I could write about. So I haven't written to you guys for that reason secondarily, and also because I've just been trying to connect more with the crew and life at Sky Lodge rather than spending too much time on my computer. :-) Another thing I've been learning about.

So let me just leave you with a simple story. I was struggling with our slushie machine in the Hitching Post a week or so ago. We were open for people to buy stuff, and it wasn't making "slushie" (whatever that is). It was basically frozen, plopping out and not producing nearly fast enough. It was a problem! And I had no idea how to solve it. I tried a few basic things, and nothing was working. It wasn't until after we were closed that I realized I could just pour warm, new slushie base into the machine, and it started working again. I was satisfied in solving the problem, even if it wasn't so useful anymore.

I had been learning about problems and solutions through Math last year, and I feel like I finally came to something of an understanding of that after the slushie experience. We come to a lot of problems in life (and Math), and in modern culture we expect them to be instantly solvable. But in real life, we face many problems that aren't instantly solved. They require thinking and time to ruminate. And God will let us sit in those problems for a while, thinking and reaching out to him for help. And then later he provides a solution. And it's so much more satisfying! And it has much more of a lasting effect, because we struggled with it for a substantial amount of time and came out victorious.

God brings things about in his own time. He works much more peacefully and meaningfully then we're used to. We should thank him for that, too, because his love has much more meaning that way. All things in his time, eh?

So that's my current two cents, and I'll give you the rest of the money later. :-) Have a good week!

~Sam

Where Evil Resides.

And so it happened, my time here at Sky Lodge is going wonderfully! I'm making new friends, strengthening great friendships and serving joyfully. Although it's starting to get busy I'm so thankful for the experience I've had so far.

But then a problem sets in. A problem that every Christian should be aware of. Even worse, this problem is what some Christians base their gospel on, and so deceive many people. The problem is that there are "no problems".

In the devotionals that I've prepared and the talks that I've had, a lot of what I've shared is the joy and happiness that Jesus can bring, but I realized that my focus has been lacking something. It lacks the honest truth that all Christians still face trials and tribulations. They still face sin, against themselves and even in their own actions. And a gospel that doesn't contain this truth is a dangerous lie.

So today I want to talk about sin and what it means. But let me preface this talk by saying that by Jesus, you are free of the ultimate consequence of sin. Don't let what I say make you think you're going to hell: for by your actions you don't receive salvation, but God's grace and fatherly love saves you from judgement. Any disciple of Jesus can die knowing that his Father will take him home.

But sin still lives on today. I know that in each person that reads this blog, whether Christian or non-Christian, there is a war going on inside of them. There is that sinful nature, the instinct that wants to be apart from God and do evil things, and there is God's image, beckoning some greater good. It is very easy to hide this fight; simply put on a smile and don't tell anyone. It's especially easy to hide here at Sky Lodge. This camp is a beautiful place, built on a community of Godly servants.

Evil seems so hard to find. But Romans 7:21 says "So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me." The evil that seems to somehow still thrive in this world is closer than you think. It resides in your very heart. Search your soul, and you can easily find the urge to lie, hate, steal, lust, and even murder. And there is no excuse for this nature: it is evil and condemnable. Let's look more at Romans:

"For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." (3:23) All of us have sinned. And does it matter how much we have sinned? You could say that you are better or worse than another, but what about than God? Because the extent of every person's sin is enough to deserve punishment. In fact, the law of God was not made to make us feel good: it was made to humble us. Our sin is a short-falling of the glory of God, as well. That is how sin is defined. Is it fair that we are judged against God's standards? Yes, because he is the creator, and we were created in his image. Adam and Eve were sinless until they fell.

And don't think that God is not a Judge. God cannot not be perfect: righteousness and justice are his very nature. He must judge those who reject him, those who refuse to follow Jesus. And he is wrathful as well. This isn't the imperfect judgement or wrath of a human, but the perfect wrath of God. He has a deep, deep passion for his children, and when they so persistently disobey him, he becomes rightly angry. Just read Amos: it is a great example of God's anger.

You must understand that God wants us to understand and follow him. We can't be God ourselves, and we can't fulfill the law. So instead Jesus did, and we can depend on him completely. This last verse sums up the solution to sin:

"For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." (6:23) Jesus died on the cross, took all the sin in and got rid of it. Sin loses, and death is defeated! Thank God.

But until the day he returns and the Devil's influence is wiped out completely, let us keep fighting. Here is a great Lord of the Rings painting to embody the battle.

And don't forget Gandalf won. So fight on, brothers.

~Sam

If you'd like to read more, check out Romans, specifically 3:9-20 and 7:13-25.

The Nearness.

So I went to France. Tornadoed around my house. Rocketed off to Sky Lodge. The end of May was a huge whirlwind of life. It was exciting, adventurous! I got to have so many great experiences and I loved it.

It was busy, though. And I was slacking on my quiet time. I spent very little time reading the Bible and prayed barely at all. I still experienced God a little, though. He still showed me his concern with the entire world: his love for everybody. And the amazing sights of France reminded me of his amazing glory.

When I came to Sky Lodge, though, I had to face the fact that we hadn't talked in a while. When I first prayed at Sky Lodge I had this feeling of nostalgia. I missed really spending time with God, and he felt the same way towards me. I may have missed out, but I wasn't guilty. I knew that I could now give him time every day, whether that be in solitude, in community, or working or playing, I would be in constant closeness with God. I really missed that.

It's amazing: his love is relentless. It just keeps trying and trying to get to us, and it won't give up. God will keep on trying forever to reach us. And when he's close to you, you feel his voice and feelings.

You can feel really joyful and thankful for Jesus' love for you and your friendship. It's like the joy you feel about your best friend, but at the same time greater, more amazing.

You can feel such peace when Jesus reminds you he is your shepherd, guide, and mentor. It's like relief at having a great teacher, but much more satisfying and quieting. 

You can be full of lamentation and anger when you understand the brokenness of the world and the people in it. It's like seeing a homeless man on the sidewalk, but realizing that this situation is common, it's the fruit of the world.

And when he tells you truth and wisdom, you can depend on his words. "Trust in the Lord with all his heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." (Proverbs 3:5-6)

He can give you words and visions. He can speak to you literally, he can speak to you through thoughts, images, experiences. Nothing is impossible with God, and he wants to interact with his children. God doesn't speak to us because of obligation or reluctantly. He just wants to love us and wants to know us. He wants a relationship!

And if you really want to hear God now, you should read the Bible! The Bible is the words of God, given to people like Paul, Moses, and other God-loving people. The books were written long ago, but they are the words of God, and they can still apply today. God speaks to current issues through the Bible as well. It's as true as truth can be.

And so that's a little bit about what it's like to hear from God, which is what I wanted to touch on. Talking to God is so pleasing, and provides guidance in everything I do. Thank God that I can grow close to Him again.

Have a good week,

~Sam